Mental Health of Infertile Couples

“We never know the love of parent till we become parents ourself” -Henry W. Beecher. It is the basic nature of humans to want, care and nurture children. For a woman, getting married and having a baby are marked as important milestones in life.

The recent change of priorities in a couple’s life is one of the leading causes for them to enter in fertility treatments. Inability to become parents can be precursor for stress, depression and anxiety. The failure to naturally conceive after trying for at least a year is defined as Infertility. Societal pressure, guilt and self loathing for the lack of ability to conceive can lead to stress and threat to the psychological health affecting married life, decreasing intimacy and even invoking the fear of divorce.


Males and females both experience the feeling of being incomplete, flawed or incompetent. These feeling can often cause relationships to be damaged for long term. The period of treatment can long and the couple needs all the emotional support along with a lot of patience. The stress of daily worries during infertility can have long term psychological effect on a couple. Several studies have found that the level of emotional stress, that a women with infertility face are similar to cancer and cardiac patients.

Following are some signs for you to know if infertility is hampering your mental health

  1. When you are thinking about it all the time?
  2. When you are struggling to find things to talk to your partner?
  3. When you are unable to concentrate or enjoy other aspects of life?
  4. You start feeling guilty for smallest of the things.
  5. You wonder what society will say about your infertility.
  6. You find yourself socially isolated.
  7. You lose interest in your hobbies.
  8. You frequently experience panic attacks.
  9. Even the smallest thing can trigger your anger and irritation.

Knowing that you have a problem and accepting it is the first step. Once recognized you can deal with them. Over the years the technology has drastically changed the scenario for infertile couples. With more available options for fertility treatments the success rate has been improved. Dealing with the psychological aspect of infertility requires strong support system.

Understand that your mental health will greatly influence your fertility treatment, and hence make sure not to ignore your state of mind. A few tips to keep your anxiety and depression at bay are listed below,

1. Pamper yourself - self loathing is not going to take you anywhere. Indulge in things that help you relax and bring joy to you.

2. Get support - Be close to people who support and stand by you. Talk to your family and friends who help you to stay positive.

3. Be informed - Learn the jargons to understand your treatment or test results. It helps you to feel in control. Stay away from unreliable sources of information.

4. Live in the present - Don’t stress yourself about the future. Stay rooted in present, focus on what needs to be done today, take one step at a time.

5. Stay away from worst case scenario - Mind has a tendency to jump to worst case scenarios to prepare itself, but avoid indulging in these thoughts. Keep negativity away as much as possible.

6. Know when to get help - Understanding that you, alone cannot handle everything. Don’t shy away from asking for help. Get professional advice as and when needed.


It is very common now-a-day’s where 1 in 8 couples are facing similar situation. Infertility is a long journey, were daily worries will wear you down. It can be a difficult time and going through tests and treatment can be exhausting. But that does not mean infertility has to take over your life. Anxiety and depression are common in infertile couples but you don’t have to suffer. Help is always available.

To know more feel free to contact us.

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